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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740730">Not complete until there's three</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfullyyoungduck/pseuds/thoughtfullyyoungduck'>thoughtfullyyoungduck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Multi, Only Happy Endings, Pennywise (IT) Lives, mention of suicide, no actual suicide, stan is just a dumbass, they all love each other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 19:08:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfullyyoungduck/pseuds/thoughtfullyyoungduck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike’s call brings back some memories for Stan, more specifically memories about Stan and Richie. Stan is in for a rough awakening when he comes back to Derry and finds out Richie and Bill are married.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, stenbroughzier, stenbrozier - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not complete until there's three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last thing Stanley Uris would ever want to do, is go back to Derry. He doesn’t want to, so he’s not going too. Those are the thoughts that are rumbling through his brain as his forces out a ‘I’ll be there’ to Mike before turning down the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a second he sits frozen, he’s absolutely terrified and he feels it throughout his entire body, like taking a cold shower. The voice of his wife is what snaps him out of it, a graceful, soft sound that he loved listening to up until 5 seconds ago, but now makes the bile rise up in his throat.</p>
<p>He drives himself to turn to her with a smile on his face, he’s perfected the art of doing this, pretending that everything’s okay while an internal storm is going on.</p>
<p>He stand quietly, but not before announcing that he is going to take a bath. He walks past his wife, to reach into the cabinet where they keep the towels, because he knows that’s what his wife expects him to do, and begins walking up the stairs. He’s going to take a bath, only he doesn’t. The only way to get to the bathroom is by going through the light green bedroom, which is always indescribably neat, and stops as his hand is already around the doorknob.</p>
<p>He turns around and glances over to the closet. The one where he tried to bury a sad and uncomfortable feeling. He backtracks until he is standing in front of it, and He quietly reaches out. He knows exactly how far he’s allowed to pull the closet door, before it makes a creaking sound that is heard all the way down to the living room, which isn’t much, but he doesn’t need to look to find what he’s looking for. When he retreats his hand, he’s a holding a picture, one that he found a couple years ago, only back then the picture made him feel such an intense love and sadness all at once, that he placed it on the bottom of his closet, with his shoes to cover it up.</p>
<p>He couldn’t remember who was in the picture, he could recognize himself, that much he knows. But there were two other boys with him, one with black unruly hair and glasses so big it was like they were magnitude glasses, and a boy with short brown-reddish hair who was wearing a flannel that seemed to big even for him. The guy with the glasses was spread out across Stan’s leg and the other boy, while Stan had a hand in his hair, and the other boy that was sitting up was looking at him fondly.</p>
<p>Stan had his head on the shoulder of the boy in flannels, who in turn had his arm wrapped around Stan. All 3 of them were shining brightly. Stan knew this picture was taking somewhere around his high school days, knew only because he knows for a fact that he threw away the t-shirt he was wearing, right when he left for college. He didn’t even remember why he threw it away, but it hurt to look so he didn’t keep it. Only now, with Mikes call, does he remember that the shirt was Bill’s and he had given it to Stan someday after lunch because he had a spare in his locker, and Richie had accidentally dunked his entire coke on Stan’s. No, Stanley Uris couldn’t remember for the life of him who these boys were, but right now, he breath hitched and while tracing the boy’s faces he let out their names as a sigh, ‘Bill, Richie’.</p>
<p>He took a step out on his balcony, which was also connected to their bedroom, and took a few stuttering breaths. He didn’t want to go back to Derry, didn’t want to fight a goddamn child eating clown, but know that he remember his two high school lovers, he couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing them again. He wondered if they felt the same way when Mike had called, and if each of the losers had their own identity crisis at the moment.</p>
<p>Stan knew that he wasn’t straight, he had gone on dates with boys, but nobody even gave him a slightly good impression, so it always stayed with one date. He liked girls too though, and he had met Patty. And Stan was satisfied, had been living a content live with Patty, only know he knows how big his heart had once been filled with love for his boys, he knew he could never be content with Patty again. He couldn’t live his life like that anymore. Maybe that was the reason he decides to skip his bath time, something he hadn’t done in 20 years, packed his suitcase and left for Derry</p>
<p>It seemed that Stan really was the only with an identity crisis after getting called. At least the only one out of the three old lovers. Stan had been late, the last one to arrive from the losers, but coming in his vision latched on to Richie and bill’s hands straight away. They were holding hands. He tried to make it discreet yet he couldn’t help but look at their hands every few seconds, while saying hello to the other losers. He got to Bill and Richie last, and shared an awkward hug and a hello with both of them. He wondered if the remembered their relationship, and if that was the reasons they were standing so closely together, almost like they were one person.</p>
<p>Stan pointedly ignored the slice of jealousy that rips through him, trying to suppress the feeling as fast as he can. He feels embarrassed by it, two days ago he didn’t even remember them, and now all he wants is for to kiss them again, to feel his skin connect with theirs, even though he never had that urge with Patty, and to feel Richie grab his hands again like they always did when they were younger. To have bill kiss him on the cheek and then blush about it while giving Stan a cheeky but bright smile. He focuses back on the losers telling their story and zones back in when Eddie starts talking.</p>
<p>“And what about you guys?” He ask Bill and Richie</p>
<p>“Any special person in your life Richie?” Eddie smirks, the way he always did when he and Richie used to tease each other, the way he knows Eddie is taunting Richie and trying to start a play fight. Instead of this happening, and Richie taking the bait, Richie smiles a little shy.</p>
<p>He smiles in a way Stan has almost never seen Richie do, only when he was alone with Bill and himself, and the moment Richie looks up from the corner of his eyes to Bill, Stan knows what’s coming. The look is barely noticeable for anyone, but Stan has always been observant. He sees Bill give a quick nod of his head, and then turns away himself, he feels his heart break before he even hears the words.</p>
<p>If only he had been observant enough to see Bill and Richie looking over his way, with longing in their eyes.</p>
<p>“Actually”, Richie starts, “me and big Bill have been married for 5 years’.</p>
<p>The way he says it, so casually and full of love, causes Stan to grip his thighs so tightly it hurts, a habit he’s had since he was little. He wants to run out of the room, to cry, to scream or to break something, it doesn’t even matter, he just wants to get away from them. From the feeling of being split apart. Stan hates this, he hates feeling like his not in control of his own emotions. It was one of the many things he has always prided himself in, and the only thing Richie and Bill ever tried to ‘change’ in him. They had said they just wanted him to enjoy every little thing of a moment, without having to worry about how he might look, or which emotion would shine through.</p>
<p> In a way, he’s happy for them. At least they found each other, where happy with one another, and Stan feels like he should be ecstatic for them, only he isn’t. Not in the way he should be at least. Still though, he focuses all of his attention on keeping his face in a straight line, making sure that none of the tell-tales he displays when he is jealous are showing.</p>
<p>‘We met about 7 years ago, well I guess that isn’t really accurate, we saw each other again 7 years ago, during a comedy evening Richie was in.’ Bill starts his explanation, looking at Richie with adoration in his eyes. Their hands were now linked on the table, and Stan wonders if their hand still feel the same.</p>
<p>‘I saw this awesome stud in the crowed and thought; hey, this guy I want to fuck.’</p>
<p>Bill hits Richie shoulder, without much menace behind it, the embarrassed smile on his face taking away any last doubt that he had meant the hit to be hurtful.</p>
<p>Eddie groans while the rest of the losers laugh, and Stan realizes he should be doing something else that just sitting with a straight face.</p>
<p>He forces an easy smile on his face, as he turns to look at Bill and Richie. Both of them were already looking at him. There’s something in their eyes, an emotion, but Stan doesn’t remember them well enough, hasn’t know them long enough, to decipher it.</p>
<p>He sees Bev look at him though, and the look in her eyes he recognizes, it’s not pity, but it’s something close too. Back when they were still kids, Bev was his go to person for relationship advice. He didn’t like to open up about his feeling to anyone, but Bev always made him feel like everything he felt was valid and she made him feel loved too.</p>
<p>He smiles wider back at her, and this time it’s genuine. He really loved Bev too, just like every other loser here.</p>
<p>“So Stan, how have you been doing?” Bill asks while taking a huge gulp of his beer that’s on the table. His voice has a hard edge, but Stan chooses to ignore it.</p>
<p>He thinks back to him putting his suitcase is his trunk, while Patty ran after him in haste. He thinks of her crying and grabbing his face, trying to get her to kiss him, but him turning his face away. He had wanted to be honest about everything to her, he really did love Patty, just not as much as he has ever loved Richie and Bill, but he was sure she wouldn’t, couldn’t understand him, so he had lied. He told her that he had fallen in love with someone else, that nothing happened, he hadn’t cheated on her, but he couldn’t keep up the facade and the lies anymore either.</p>
<p>She had begged some more, tried telling him that it was just a rough patch they were going through, and that they could get couples counselling, but Stan told her that he loved her too much to do that to her. Then he had start the car and left their life behind.</p>
<p>He had put his wedding ring in his pocket, and had laughed. In 27 years, Stanley Uris had never done anything he hadn’t extensively thought through, but now he just had.  </p>
<p>He thinks back to those moments, and the ring in his pocket that seemed to be dragging him down now, and wonders what his answer should be.</p>
<p>He makes eye contact with Beverly, and it seems that in the 20 years they forgot about each other, Beverly can still read him like an open book.</p>
<p>She opens her mouth to say something, but before she can, Stan opens his.</p>
<p>‘I’ve been married for 10 years’. He doesn’t know why he said it. Especially since his marriage was over, by his own choice. Maybe he said it because Stan and Bill are still holding each other’s hands. Maybe it’s because he desperately doesn’t want t come across as desperate, how ironic that may sound. He doesn’t want them to think he wants to get in the way of their relationship. Bill and Richie are married now for god sake, and that changes everything. Stan is no longer a part of their relationship, and he want to make it clear to Bill and Richie that he know that.</p>
<p>‘Her names Patty, she’s Jewish as well, and she’s a kindergarten teacher’. Stan continuous. His eyes are drawn by the hand of Bill and Richie tightening together, but he won’t let it deter him.</p>
<p>‘Cool’, Richie says, but his voice sounds strained, like he’s pushing the words out of his throat instead of just talking.</p>
<p>Eddie sees his former best friend struggling and jumps in for him.</p>
<p>‘That’s really nice Stan, I’m glad your happy.’ He gives Stan a small nod, because even with as little as he remembers, he know his best friend, and their leader were head over heals for Stan, and just by seeing the way they’re looking at him, he knows that hasn’t changed.</p>
<p>Stan bitterly takes a bite from his spring roll, he hates how greasy it is, but he doesn’t want to talk anymore. He isn’t happy anymore now that he know of Bill and Richie.</p>
<p>He suddenly feels extremely tired, he want to go home, or his hotel room, at this point he doesn’t even care anymore. His life just turned completely upside down, and he’s just now realizing it. Why did he come here again?</p>
<p>He fork pauses on the way to his mouth, he suddenly remembers the painted lady, closing in on him, eerily getting closer and closing her gaping mount around his face.</p>
<p>‘Stan’, a panicked voice calls out again.</p>
<p>Stan startles into awareness, realizing that everyone was looking at him. His hand is shaking badly. His spring roll already dropped back on the plate. Bill, who sits closest to him reaches out to him, presumably to grab his hand and hold in his, but Stan quickly drops his hand down and Bill’s falters before returning to his side too. He looks sad.</p>
<p>‘Why did you bring us back here Mike’? He asks. Even he hears his voice is monotone, and to people who don’t know him it may sound like he doesn’t care. The reality is that he cares so much, feels so much fear, that he shuts every feeling, and everyone out.</p>
<p>Everyone’s gazes drift over to Mike’s who looks guilty. ‘We didn’t stop it, 27 years ago. The killings are happening again, and we made a vow’. While Mike is talking, a waitress puts fortune cookies on the table waling away with a smile on her face, if only she knew what they ware talking about.</p>
<p>‘Pennywise’, Beverly breaths out, panic lacing in her voice as she frantically looks around her.</p>
<p>Stan sees Eddie reach for his inhaler, trying to breath more easily. Stan idly wonders if he should too, considering it doesn’t feel like he’s getting any air.</p>
<p>Before Bill gets a chance to open his mount, on of the fortune cookies springs alive. A shrieking sound emits from it as it breaks open and a small, dying bird pops out of it. Instantly Stan spring back running toward the back of the room, trying to get as far away from whatever it is.</p>
<p>He sees the others do the same, Bill running in the same direction as Stan did.</p>
<p>‘Hey you guys, this fortune cookie is looking at me’. Richie’s voice sounds as panicked as Stan feels.</p>
<p>Another fortune cookies falls of the platter, and ends up right in front of Stan and Bill. Stan wants to reach for Bill’s hand, he’s so terrified that for a moment it wouldn’t even matter if Richie saw, he just needs Bill or Richie to help him. Before he can though the fortune cookie breaks open, revealing a tooth. Stan knows that sort of tooth. He stared right down at it when She was biting his face off. When he was looking in the deadlights.</p>
<p>He tumbles down to ground gasping. He can’t do this, he should have never come back to this town. He shrieks, just like did all those years ago, and stars to crawl backwards as much as he can no other sane thought in his head but; get away, get away.  </p>
<p>‘Stan, stan look at me’, he hears a shrill voice, laced with overflowing worry and terrifying fear. Hands force his face to make eye contact with someone. It’s bill, and he’s trying to block out Stan sight of the cookie, of everyone losing their minds and mike attacking the table with a chair.</p>
<p>‘Look at me Stan, breath, it’s not real okay, it’s not real’. Bill swipes his thumb over cheekbones, and for a second Stan can pretend that he could reach up and kiss Bill if he wanted to, that he could call out and Richie would come sprinting to see if everything was alright.</p>
<p>The noise dies down and Stan can’t see anything move anymore, so he assumes Pennywise decided to let them suffer for a few more days before killing them.</p>
<p>He faintly hears the waitress and Richie’s warm voice before Richie too is sitting next to Bill, and is grabbing his hand. Bill still hasn’t stopped the soothing movements.</p>
<p>‘You alright there Stan the man, you look kinda pale’. Richie jokingly says, but even Stan can hear the tremble in his voice.</p>
<p>It’s the nickname that makes Stan snap though. He pulls his head away from Bill’s hands and pushes Richie easy from him a little before standing up and brushing of his pants.</p>
<p>He glares, and stumbles for a moment, the anger shooting through his body like it’s unwoven with his blood.</p>
<p>Stan the man was the nickname Richie had always called him, but once Bill, Richie and Stan started dating, Richie, when using the nickname, always said Stan our man. Only now Stan isn’t a part of this relationship anymore.  </p>
<p>He can’t for the life of him figure out why he came back here. Was it so he could hurriedly see Bill and Richie? And then what? Get his heart broken? Maybe it was because he wanted to die? God dammit why couldn’t he just not have remembered. He would have stayed with Patty, and he would’ve been okay with that. Instead he might die here, he’s getting a divorce, and the boys he loved have moved on, together.</p>
<p>He glanced at Bill and Richie, both of them looking shocked at Stan’s outbursts, as if they were expecting him to stay in his panic much longer.</p>
<p>He looked towards his other friends too. Ben, Eddie, Mike and Bev. He loved them so much too, he wanted to protect them, to make sure they were happy but god dammit he couldn’t do this. He wasn’t strong enough too.</p>
<p>‘Fuck this’, he spewed out before grabbing his coat and walking to the exit.</p>
<p>‘Stan wait, where are you going?’</p>
<p>He could hear the losers following him, trying to figure out his plan, but he didn’t care, it wasn’t too late to live his content live, so that what he was going to do.</p>
<p>‘Stan please, just tell us what you’re gonna do?’, Beverly’s voice cries out.</p>
<p>Stan turned in a flash nearly shouting now, he had never felt such an intense rage before.</p>
<p>‘Home, that’s where, I’m going home. I’ll going to go see my wife, do lay job and I’m going to live, I’m sorry if you want help trying to kill it but Clearly that’s not working out for us now is it.’</p>
<p>‘Stan please, just please we need to defeat IT, think of our promise’. Mike is begging, and Stan thinks he might be minutes away from actually getting down on his knees. Still Stan doesn’t relent.</p>
<p>‘I’m sorry Mike, but I’m not strong like you guys, I have to get out of here’. Stan turn around again to get to his car.</p>
<p>‘Stan’s right, I’m leaving too’. He hears Richie say, but it doesn’t make him turn around.</p>
<p>‘Me too’, Eddie replies.</p>
<p>‘Wait’. Another voice cries out. It’s Bill. Stan feels his hands falter, not looking back at Bill, but also not getting in his car.</p>
<p>‘Can we please just sleep on it for one night? If you guys still want to leave in the morning then we can go. Just we’re all tired and we need to get some rest. Then we can all decide how we’re approaching this.’</p>
<p>Stan wants to leave so bad, but then he mulls Bill’s words over in his head. It’s not even because he’s in love with Bill that makes him want to listen, it’s just that Bill is their leader, and Stan has always looked up to him in that way.</p>
<p>‘Stan’, Bill’s voice sounds soft, asking a question without really asking it. ‘Please’.</p>
<p>Stan sighs, but he still doesn’t turn around.</p>
<p>‘Fine you lead the way to the hotel, I’ll follow one of you’.</p>
<p>First thing in the morning, he’s out of this god forsaken town.</p>
<p>He leaves in the morning, before any of the others are up yet. He knows he promised Bill that they would talk about this, but there’s nothing that’s keeping him here.</p>
<p>He barely slept, he kept overthinking every little thing that happened. When they got to the hotel he went straight to his room, and locked the door before any of the losers could say something else.</p>
<p>To make things worse, his room was just across Richie and bill’s, to prolong his suffering. He could hear someone stand in front of his door in the middle of the night, but he kept himself as quit as possible, and after about 5 minutes of the person hovering, they left.</p>
<p>When they were kids, whenever one of the them was scared, the losers would all sleep in the same room. They would watch a comedy and eat junk food, and Stan was sure that that’s what they were doing now, but he didn’t have it in himself to go and check.</p>
<p>At around 5:30 Stan walks out of the hotel entrance, with a leather bag in his hands, and heads for his car. He takes a look around the parking lot, because he can still feel the terrifying, numbing fear of seeing pennywise the day before, but he doesn’t see anything. He quickly gets in the car, and drives away before he can change his mind.</p>
<p>This is fine, he thinks too himself as he drives away. It’s fine, He’s going to go home to Patty, fix things, clean his house and keep up his routine. It’s fine because he has done his all throughout his adult life, it’s what’s expected from him. He’s going back to Atlanta, and he’s going to live the rest of his life in peace. It’s fine, but it really isn’t.</p>
<p>He wishes that even when he was a kid, he had never started dating Bill and Richie. If he never dated them, then maybe his feelings for them wouldn’t have burned so bright, every other love he has ever felt seems like coal in comparisons. He’s violently drawn out of his thoughts by an upcoming danger on the road. Before Stan has a chance to see what it is, he’s brain realizes he should swerve, so he does. He forcefully turns his steering wheel, and because of it, his car starts slipping. His foot crashing on the brake pedal, even though Stan logically knows that not what he should do.</p>
<p>His car comes to a stop, but not before flying of the road and into a three on the side, right before the sign that says Welcome to Derry.</p>
<p>Stan’s head hit the control panel harshly, and Stan gives himself two minutes to catch his breath while a small streams of blood drips over his forehead, before realizing he almost hit something, or someone. As soon as the thought formulates he jumps out of the car and runs back to the road, desperate to see if he managed to avoid the person or thing. When he gets to the road he sees a body laying there, and the figure, is not moving.</p>
<p>Stan’s breath hitch and he nearly passes out for a second, but then he sprints forward and drops to his knees. For once, he’s not worried about the dirt on his knees. He reaches out to person, and promptly feels his heart fall to his stomach. It’s Bill.</p>
<p>‘Bill, what wait, Bill what the hell were you doing here’. His voice sounds frantic, and he’s pulling Bill up by his shoulders, placing him in his lap and starts shaking him.</p>
<p>‘Bill please, wake up, come on open your eyes for me. Somebody help me.’ He screams out, but there’s nobody on the road, and the adults in Derry have been known to avoid people when the most need it.</p>
<p>‘Stan.’ A confused voice calls out to him. Stan turns around and meets the eyes of Richie. He looks mostly confused as to why Stan’s screaming, until his sees the body that Stan is now cradling in his arms.</p>
<p>His eyes grow wide, and the next time he speaks, his voice sounds distraught.</p>
<p>‘Bill, oh my god Bill.’ He lunches forward and takes Bill body unto his own arms, roughly pushing Stan away.</p>
<p>‘Bill come on baby don’t leave me. I love you.’ Stan only then realizes that Bill has yet to take any breath, nor does move even the slightest.</p>
<p>‘Richie, I’m…’ Stan’s voice cracks, and he isn’t sure how he’s supposed to continue.</p>
<p>The tears start streaming down his face, and sobs are threatening to escape. He couldn’t have killed Bill, he  loved him, God he LOVED Bill, just like he loved Richie.</p>
<p>Suddenly Richie’s head shoots up, his glare set on Stan.</p>
<p>‘You did this, you killed him.’</p>
<p>Stan doesn’t know how to respond. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t see him coming.’ Stan is trying desperately to explain, but it does little to soften Richie’s glare.</p>
<p>‘Why did you kill me, Stan.’ Startled Stan looks down at Bill, and sees that Bill’s eyes are now opened, and Bill was the one that had spoken.</p>
<p>He feels hysteria building up in his chest. ‘Bill, I, what?”</p>
<p>‘Yeah, Stan why? Was it because we decided to go on without you? Because we realized you were too weak for us?’ Richie spits out. He’s no longer crying or looking distressed, instead he has a mean smirk on his face.</p>
<p>‘you should’ve just killed yourself Stan, like you were planning on doing in the first place’.</p>
<p>Stan jumps back, he had no idea what’s going on, but he knows that neither Bill nor Richie would ever say that to him. Both of them were too kind to do any of that stuff. Which means that this could only mean one thing.</p>
<p>Stan scrambles back up and steps back, continuing to look at fake Bill and Richie. He takes several steps back, but they don’t do anything except for smirking at him.</p>
<p>‘Come on, Stanley’, Pennywise’s contorted voice comes out, the bodies of Richie and Bill forming into one figure. ‘You know it to be true, Bill nor Richie love you anymore, and since you left so soon, why couldn’t you have just killed yourself?’</p>
<p>Stan shakes his head, yet he knows it’s useless, he already thinks to things, otherwise Pennywise wouldn’t have brought them up. In the blink of an eye the clown is suddenly right in front of him, and Stan lets out a yelp before jumping backwards, but pennywise clearly anticipated this, as he just grabs Stan by the neck and lifts him up. IT grins, more terrifying that Stan remembers from his childhood, before opening his mouth, and Stan knows exactly what’s coming. He struggles as hard as he can, but even he knows it’s in vain. In no time, Stan is looking down the throat of Pennywise, staring straight into the deadlights.</p>
<p>A voice in the back of his mind that sounds vaguely like Bill and Richie combined yelling to fight back, to stand up for himself, only Stan is already to tired, so he just let’s himself float. He floats, right back towards the nightmare he just lived through, over and over again.</p>
<p>‘Come on, Stanley’, Pennywise’s contorted voice comes out, the bodies of Richie and Bill forming into one figure. ‘You know it to be true, Bill nor Richie love you anymore, and since you left so soon, why couldn’t you have just killed yourself?’</p>
<p>The same goddamn words come out of pennywise mouth again. Stan isn’t sure how much longer he can do this, stuck in this constant loop of terror. He thought that he would finally die from heartbreak at some point, but he didn’t. He always saw the same thing, the only difference was that sometimes he hit Bill, and other times he hit Richie.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure how long he was stuck in this bizarre place, but he does know that after an immense long time, he’s starting to get feeling back in his legs. It’s weird but the entire time he was on the deadlights, he felt like he was soaked in ice cold water, but now it feels like his legs are submerged in an amazing, hot temperature water. The feeling spreads through his chest, up his neck and ends up warming his face.</p>
<p>‘Stan, Stanley come on. Fight it, Stan. You got to fight him.’ He hears someone call out to him, but he can’t place the voice. He interprets the words though, and even though he is really confused and doesn’t really know what’s happening, he does what the voice tells him.</p>
<p>‘that’s it Stan, you can do this. You’re stronger than you think.’ It’s another voice, one Stan can’t place directly either, but he basks in the warmth of the voice, and the safety he feels that comes with it.</p>
<p>He hears more voices calling out to him, calling out his name. He tries so hard, and he thinks about giving up until he in a split second, it feels like the weight that was pushing him down had been lifted. finally Stan is able to open his eyes, and take in his surroundings.</p>
<p>He is laying with his head on someone’s lap, and when he looks up, he sees Richie’s terrified eyes looking down on him. Instantly, he recalls those eyes staring back with fury, because he killed Bill. Stan jumps up, frantic to get away from those eyes. He crawls back until his back hit’s another person’s body and sags down unto it, once the familiar smell of anti-septic whips hit his nostrils, undeniably save and Eddie. Eddie wraps his arm around Stan, and Stan would bet money on it that Eddie is recalling the first time this happened, back when Stan had been alone too.</p>
<p>‘I’m sorry.’ Stan sobs out. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt Bill I swear. I love him and I love you and I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry’. He’s looking at Richie the entire time, straight in his eyes, and he can see the shift from terrified, to confused, to empathetic.</p>
<p>‘Stan.’ Another person’s voice calls out. Stan nearly causes whiplash because he turns his head so fast. Bill is hovering around him, turning his palms up towards him, in a gesture that says I’m unarmed. ‘Stan it’s a-a-alright. Whatever the clown showed you it wasn’t real.’</p>
<p>Bill says it was so much confidence, and Stan feeds off it. He needs reassurance right now, he needs to believe everything is gonna be alright. Richie had a timid smile on his face, and his eyes, just like Bill’s, scream love for him.</p>
<p>‘It is though.’ Stan replies voice so utterly small and destroyed. Eddie starts to shake his head, Stan can feel it, but Stan rips away from Eddie before he can say anything. He needs to say this to Richie and Bill before he never get’s a chance too.</p>
<p>‘You’re together and that’s great, I’m happy for you. But I can’t breath when I see you, because ever since Mike called all I can think about kissing the both of you, and touching you any ways I can. And I know I can’t have that which is why it breaks my heart every time I see you guys together.’ Stan is sputtering around his words, but he doesn’t stop the take a break, he needs to say this, he needs to get it off his chest.</p>
<p>‘That isn’t fair Stan, you’re married’. Richie responds. He and Bill have gotten closer, while Eddie ran to help their other friends, who had called out for a them a few other times. It seemed like the three of them were in a small bubble, unaware of what was happening outside of it.</p>
<p>Bill opens his mouth to interject, but Stan beats him too it. ‘I left her.’</p>
<p>Bill’s mouth shut with an audible click. Both him and Richie looking bewildered. ‘I remembered you guys as soon as I got Mike’s call, and I couldn’t lie to her about my feelings. Once I remembered you, I knew I could never love a person again as much as I loved you guys. We’re not officially divorced yet, I didn’t have time for that but, I will soon.’</p>
<p>‘Stan’, Bill says hopeful, and it makes Stan look up to him. ‘Me and Rich, we, god we were going to get a divorce too.’ Stan blinks once, twice before looking up at Richie who picks up where Bill left off.</p>
<p>‘We were happy, but it was always like it wasn’t enough you know? Like we couldn’t fill a void that was there no matter how hard we tried. We figured that it was because we didn’t love each other enough. We realized, after Mike called, that it was you that we were missing. That it was because you weren’t there, that we didn’t feel whole either.’</p>
<p>Stan feels something blossom in his chest, a feeling of hope. ‘You guys aren’t just saying this right? Because you need to be honest with me if you guys were fine on your own, so I can.’</p>
<p>Before Stan can say something Bill reaches forward, and kisses Stan on the lips. Stan freezes for a second, before shooting in action and clinging to Bill’s shirt while kissing back feverishly. He wonders again how he could ever have thought he was content with Patty, when he missed this every day. He breaks away with Bill to catch his breath, but then he sees Richie staring at them with a blush on his cheeks, and he can’t help himself. This time it’s him that reaches forward and just like that, he’s kissing Richie too.</p>
<p>It’s been a while so the kiss itself is awkward. Richie’s glasses are digging in his face, and he grabs Richie’s hair a little too tight, but the emotions is still wonderful. Both kisses where full of love.</p>
<p>When they pull away Richie kisses Bill on the lips too, and Stan can’t help but feel his heart overflow with love for both his boys.</p>
<p>‘We wanted to talk to you too, straight away after we remembered. Only, we didn’t think it the right time was in front of the entire group, and then you told us about your wife.’ Richie’s face screwed up as he said the word wife, ‘so we thought you didn’t want to be with us anymore, fuck we’r a bung of idiots right?’</p>
<p>‘Hey, this is nice and all, but can you please come and help us?’ Eddie’s yells breaks down their bubble, and after looking at each other one more time, the three boys stand up and join their friends into defeating this monster that has haunt them for their entire life.</p>
<p>When Stan’s hand reaches out to crush the clowns heart, along side his friends, he knows that he in that moment, he’s just as strong as all of them.</p>
<p>‘Richie for god sake, will you stop that please.’ From the corner of his eyes, Stan can see Bill struggling to hold in his laugh. Stan, though he would never admit it, tries his very hardest not to laugh either.</p>
<p>Richie was chasing Eddie holding a cup of water that was supposed to be used to water the plants, but instead is now used as an annoy Eddie device.</p>
<p>‘I’m not giving up Kaspbrak.’ Richie yells while speeding up a notch, while Eddie starts laughing even harder. It wasn’t hard to see why they were so close.</p>
<p>Stan shook his head and joined Bev, Mike and Ben around the table, and he could see Bill moving over as well. In the middle of the table in front of them stood a giant cake. The letters read; congratulation on getting a divorce. It had been Ben’s job to order the cake, and Stan could only imagine the embarrassment he must have felt when asking for it. Stan softly shook his head, he still thought this was an insane idea. Bill and Richie had decided to get a divorce, because this relationship was no longer one of just two people, and three people couldn’t legally get married. Stan hadn’t wanted them to do it, he said he was fine with just not being their husband on paper, it didn’t have to mean anything.</p>
<p>Richie and Bill insisted though, Stan was just as much a part of this relationship as they were. Richie dropped down on the chair next to him, still giggling slightly to himself, and grabbed Stan’s hand. A scowl appeared on his face when Richie did so, because Richie’s palm was wet and it felt absolutely disgusting. Still, when Stan tried to pull his hand away, Richie just held tighter. Bill was smiling at the both of them, so Stan put his hand on Bill’s thigh, watching his cheek darken as he did so. After defeating pennywise just 4 months ago, Bill, Richie and Stan had decided to move in with each other straight away. For obvious spacing reasons, they decided to go live in the house Bill and Richie had already occupied before remembering, but they did change the whole interior and let Stan decide what color everything should be. Neither Bill nor Richie really cared.</p>
<p>As Stan looked around his perfect house, with his perfect boyfriends, and the perfect friends, he could not be more glad that he had returned to Derry.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've decided to post my tumblr work on here so if you want to talk follow my tumblr under the same name!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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